But all the conspiracy theories in the world won't get me a bowl of my favorite veggie. I mean, where the HELL am I supposed to get my folic acid? Vitamins are NOT an option!
So I'm going to have to go slumming. You'll see me in the seedy neighborhoods looking for the house that has Popeye's shoes tied together and slung over the power lines out front. I'm not proud, but I needs my spinach! I know, they'll give me the first bowl for free. Then they start charging. I don't care, I'm already hooked! I'd even buy a bag if it had a sticker that read "Now With 50% More E Coli!"
I've come to the conclusion that anything I decide to eat will eventually be declared unhealthy.